Right Now, reliable transportation and public transit are big topics in the Motor city. The Q-Line is fully operational and shuttling pasengers from Downtown to Midtown and almost to the destinations they actually desire to travel. The Livernois Median project developed a new type of left turn to master. The people mover is tried and true. The Old Reliable personal vehicle still remains our best option for travel in The D but how efficiently we move around is based on the knowledge of the native Detroiter. The questions that need answering by tourists and young professionals from other states can only be gathered from one reliable source of intel.

Facebook.

It has become a community all its own.

Its a cultural hub for learning, as much as it is a photo album for your High school Prom.

Every So often it produces gems, like this public post that has been shared 7,000 times [at publishing] by Paid in Full Darrien AKA Darrien Brysob. It answers all the Californian quests for M-10 and the like.

Please enjoy this Facebook status for its full facetious yet authentic nature.

Detroit Driving Tips

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It’s Di-TROIT. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo. You might be punched.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules… Prayer is the key. Faith unlocks the door. So does your remote. .

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, and possibly shot. If you’re first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can only be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too. And yes, most people will say “LaSHer.” That’s hood.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and Southfield freeways are a way of life. Just deal with it. There are three seasons in Detroit; winter, Michigan Football and construction.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are from out of town.

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright sissy. Don’t even think of allowing more than one car length between cars. You might get punched.

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is not ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car. You might get punched.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says “Keep honking, I’m reloading.” You might get SHOT.

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck. You might get SHOT – again.

13. I-275 / I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It’s not M-10, it’s “The Lodge”.

15. That’s not a lake, it’s a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it’s on Outer Drive, you better have a map.

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. Now you have gone left.

18. The “D” hat is universally feared, revered and respected all across ” ‘merica” and on cruise ships. Disrespect if you wish. You might get punched.

19. Ohio State troopers are not of this world. We come against them NOW!

Sidenotes:

6 mile turns into McNichols
8 mile turns into Baseline and Vernier at opposite ends
15 mile turns into Maple.
16 mile turns into Big Beaver and becomes Metro Parkway, then Quarton, somewhere along the way.
17 mile turns into Wattles
18 mile turns into Long Lake
19 mile turns into Square Lake
20 mile turns into Hall Road and then Highland Rd., before it becomes M-59 (*and William P Rosso HWY at the very end)
Main street starts as “Main Street” and turns into Livernois for no apparent reason.
If someone tells you to take “75 South to Detroit” make sure you merge onto 375 or you’ll end up in Toledo.


*As a REALTOR® to many airmen I could not leave out, M-59 turns into the road to Selfridge ANGB in Harrison Township.

This content is not the product of the National Association of REALTORS®, and may not reflect NAR's viewpoint or position on these topics and NAR does not verify the accuracy of the content.